To Race or Not to Race? That is the Question.

            It’s been awhile since my last blog. The main reason? I have had an annoying Achilles injury and quite frankly did not want to write something negative, because in the mind of an athlete (or mine at least) at the first sign of an injury we may be in denial. At the USATF Indoor National Championships I knew the feeling in my Achilles was not good but I figured a few days of cross training and I would be fine. Then a few more passed. Then I tried to run and after 15 minutes each time I tried I was left discouraged with a tightening pain in my lower left Achilles/calf.

            Twenty-two days later and I found myself driving with my brother and friend Jane to Vancouver Canada where we were invited to race in the Saint Patrick’s Day 5k. Twenty-three days before this, I was eager for the opportunity to travel to a city I had never been to and race as an elite athlete. But what a difference a day, or twenty-two, makes.

            An hour before we left I wasn’t sure if I was going to make the trip but after some consideration I decided to go and enjoy the city and cheer my friends on. The morning we left I ran on my treadmill and made it one mile before feeling that same feeling in my lower leg. After arriving in Vancouver it was time for a shake out run. It was a beautiful sunny day and our hotel was right next to the sea wall so I decided to go for a little jog. The first mile I felt like a miracle had happened. There was not any pain in my Achilles! But I was very familiar with the game this little tendon liked to play and sure enough, right about 18 minutes in, the pain started to creep in. I jogged a few minutes easily back to the hotel and waited my roommates to return from their run.

            After the run it was time for an ice bath. At least that’s what my friend Jane, thought. I reluctantly followed the two into the ocean. It was a beautiful evening with the sun setting over the water, gentle waves hitting the beach, and ships out at sea, but the experience was anything but serene! I was freezing! My poor toes felt like they were going to break. After 10 minutes of pain I was glad to be out and later that night my legs seemed to thank me for the TLC.

            After showering off we met the B.C. Brooks Guru, Christy, in the lobby of our hotel and went out to dinner. It was delicious and she was an amazing hostess! All the good feelings of dinner and how wonderful everyone involved with the race were treating us I was feeling a little compelled to go out there in the morning and race. I felt it was the least I could do for such generosity! Deep down I told myself I was racing. But to everyone else, I said I was still up in the air because that was the reality of the situation; I just couldn’t admit it to myself.

            The night before the race I did not sleep. It was not a factor of nerves but merely being uncomfortable. I got hot, and then one of my roommates (who was getting over a cold) had some coughing fits in the night. At 2:45 a.m. I decided to move to the floor. Not the brightest idea but I told myself “control the controllables,” so I moved away from the source of some of my discomfort. But trying to sleep on a hard floor without blankets is not ideal either. At 5:45 a.m. I got up and moved back into the bed. At this point I was saying to myself, “There is no way I am going to be able to race in the morning! It would be foolish. Maybe it was just not in the cards.” But then the optimistic side of me would pipe up and say, “I have never been up 24 hours straight before a race, but there’s a first for everything. I didn’t sleep much before my first marathon and I did all right there. This is just a 5k….” and other bits of brainwashing. 

            6:30 a.m. and the first alarm for Jane went off. No way I was getting up just yet. Between 6:45 and 7:00 a.m. the next alarm for John went off. I was supposed to get up and go eat breakfast with the pair but told them I was going to stay in bed. I wanted to lie there as long as possible. 7:20 a.m. and I figured I better get myself out of bed and eat something if I was going to race at 10 a.m. Not sure of what to eat at this point I grabbed two PowerBars, the Strawberry Crunch Harvest Bar and the Oatmeal Raisin Cookie Harvest Bar (one of my favorites), and a couple of PowerBar Energy Blasts. I looked at the calorie content and figured that should be enough for a 5k.

            Feeling very sluggish and sick (most likely from the lack of sleep) I headed down to the lobby to meet Christy who was our ride to the race. I was sporting my Brooks uniform, had my number attached, flats in my bag, I was all set to race. One problem though, no one knew (not even myself) if I was going to be able to race.