Finally time to Exhale: Update on the Olympic Trials

(Hayward Field)

            Wow. What a journey this year has been. I have not forgotten to update my blog about the Trials but I honestly have been feeling very mentally drained as of late and it has been hard for me to sit down and write. Plus the weekend after the Trials I was traveling to Omaha, NE for the USATF Club Nationals Championships and that was exhausting! But more about that later.

            The whole experience of the Trials was amazing. It wasn’t perfect (i.e. the men’s pole vault competition) but overall it was the best competition I have ever competed at and I am thankful to have been given the opportunity to race. 

(On our way down to Eugene, OR. Levi, Jason, and Scott)

            Levi, Scott (pole vaulter), Jason (pole vaulter), and I drove down to Eugene, OR on Saturday. It was a little more hectic traveling with pole-vaulters as the guys had to carry their poles around trying to find someone who knew where to put them. Each time I travel with pole-vaulters I am reminded how lucky I am to only have to carry my spikes around. Maybe that’s why those guys are so strong? From carrying those bags around everywhere! As they were getting the bags put away Ashton Eaton was on the track getting ready to run his last event of the decathlon, the 1500m. The crowd was going wild and suddenly a huge roar erupted from the stadium. He had just broken the world record! Welcome to Eugene, OR home of the 2012 Olympic Trials. 

(Brooks Goody Bag for the Trials)

            We got checked into our dorms and I headed over to the Brooks house with my brother John, dad and sister to pick up our Olympic Trials “goody bags.” The Brooks house was located right next to the track and was all decked out. Getting my goody bag felt almost like Christmas! It was full of fun Brooks items, sunglasses, Run Eugene T-shirts, a new jacket, new shoes, water bottle, etc. Thank you Brooks for the support! I couldn’t stay visiting long as I had to hurry back to the dorms so I could catch the tail end of dinner.

            Staying at the dorms was great. It was inexpensive (in comparison to local hotels), came with three meals a day, and was located directly next to the track, perfect for a competing athlete. The only downside was the walls did not block out noise very well but that’s why I brought earplugs.

            Sunday morning we headed over to the Brooks Media Breakfast and after that I went for an easy run with some strides at the end. The weather had been off and on rain since we arrived but was warm. I slept well Sunday night and woke up ready to compete. Monday consisted of an easy two mile shake out run in the morning then relaxing. I headed to the track around 3pm and time flew by. I headed out for my warm up and upon returning to the tent was surprised to see them marshaling us into the tent. I noticed some other ladies from my heat continuing their warm up so I did some light drills and extended my time as long as possible until I had to head under the grandstands to await my start. I felt plenty warmed up but looking back if I could change something I would have started my warm up earlier so I could do my regular warm up. It just helps me feel ready mentally and physically.

(Heat two of the women's 3000m steeple)

(Start of the women's steeple)

           It was raining fairly steady but wasn’t cold. The rain wouldn’t bother me. As we got marshaled onto the track I could hear people from each section cheering my name! I didn’t realize how many people I knew were there, so if I didn’t get to thank you in person I am thanking you now for your cheers and support. It really does help.

            The first heat was just finishing up as we stepped onto the track. John told me not to look at the first heat’s results. It wouldn’t make a difference as to how I raced and the less distractions the better. But with the announcer and the screen right in front of me I couldn’t help but see the results. I saw lots of low 9:50’s and knew I would need to be on it and have a good race to make the final.

            My race strategy was to get out to a good position. In too many USA Championship races I have simply put myself in terrible position by going right to the back at the start. This would be o.k. if the races went out really fast but in my past experience, they didn’t. I wanted to get out in 6^th-8^th position. Maintain that for most of the race then start moving up and work my way into 3^rd-5^th by the end. If the race was more conservative this would play out in my favor.

            The gun went off and I got out into good position. I was sitting in 7^th place with Bridget Franek to my left. I felt relaxed. I got over the hurdles just fine, and then came the first water jump. I do not know what happened but I came up to it to close and pretty much lost all momentum as I hit. I was passed by 3 women on this and now had to fight to work my way back up into position. I never gave up but noticed when 3 laps to go came I did not have another gear to go into. I felt really strong but couldn’t switch gears. Coming off the last 100m I had a very strong kick and almost caught two women in front of me. I crossed the line in 10:00. A very solid time but knew it was not good enough to get me into the final.

            Looking back I think this race was one where I should have hung back a little. Hind sight is always 20/20 and sometimes you have to go for it and see what you can do. I am not upset that I put myself in position to have a big PR but it is disappointing when your plans don’t play out the way you want them to.  

(Great support crew)

            I walked off the track and through the media zone then sat down in the recovery tent to watch John race. The whole time the rain was getting worse and I knew Levi would be up soon to pole vault. I honestly figured they would postpone or cancel the men’s vault like they did for the women since the conditions for them were atrocious.

(My entire family made the trip)

           

            I watched my brother John run a very courageous race in the men 3k steeple. He really went for it and put himself in the race. In the end his body gave out on him but his mind never did and that is what matters. He has had a tough year coming back from injury and no matter what other people may think or the doubts he might have I am very proud of him and know he has not even touched on his potential!

            After the men’s steeple I headed out for a light cool down as I was waiting to hear if they were going to do the men’s pole vault. I heard a clap of thunder and saw lightning and figured it was safe to say they would be postponed especially since I hadn’t heard any announcements of the event. Little did I know how wrong I was. As I ran around the cemetery lots of emotions came to me. Happiness, disappointment, thankfulness, doubt, eagerness, and optimism. After so much focus over the last year on this race, on this one event, it was over. Now what?

            I headed back into the stadium and heard an announcement about a 3^rd attempt. What?!! I raced over to my athlete seating hoping I did not miss Levi’s jumps. I found my dad and sister and asked them if they had seen how Levi was doing. They hadn’t seen him jump yet. But weren’t sure if they missed it as the announcers weren’t announcing the pole vault very well. I searched the infield for Levi and finally saw him, sitting down, helmet off, spikes off. He was out. My brother Josh was sitting in a different section and had a better view of the event and informed me Levi did not make it into the finals. I was crushed for him.

            The event was over in roughly 30 minutes for the men’s pole vault. Levi came to the stands to find me and I was surprised how well he was taking everything. He definitely has the heart of a champion. He was disappointed with the situation but felt he did everything he could in the conditions. Levi told me he decided to come in at the opening height of 5.30 (17’4.5”). It was raining hard but he figured it might get worse so coming in lower might be easier. Turns out the rain stopped for the next height and had he waited he would have had better conditions to vault. During the warm ups men were getting stood up, rejected, and doing a lot of run-throughs. A lot of the elite vaulters were yelling to the officials to stop the event. It wasn’t safe. Brad Walker was trying to get the head official down to the field but the men were ignored. Where the women were given a choice as to vault or not the men had no voice. At one point a stray javelin even landed in their tent causing the men to dive out of harm’s way. Levi vaults with an open grip and this proved detrimental in the rainy conditions. He kept his pole under the tent as dry as possible, put a ton of chalk on his hands, but the moment he stepped onto the runway his chalked washed off his back hand and it was very difficult to hold on. He planted and took every jump which a lot of men were not even taking their jumps when it was their turn to do so as they couldn’t even see the box at the end of the runway. Levi has guts and he showed it. His first attempt he barely touched the bar with his chest and it fell off. He was so close. All he had to do was make a bar and he would have made the final because they didn’t even get enough men to advance to the finals and have a full field. It was very heartbreaking to watch some of the pole-vaulters who had worked so hard for the opportunity to make the Olympics to feel like they weren’t even given a fair chance. I saw men crying as their dreams were crushed. I had a fair opportunity to compete and make the final and after witnessing the pole-vaulters situation it made me a lot less disappointed about my situation.

(Playing with the rock near the Dux Bistro)

            The rest of the week we watched the track meet and were able to witness some amazing performances. On Thursday night I watched the very last throw of the discus competition sail to an A standard and make an Olympic dream come true. I watched a women lay her heart on the line and lean to an A standard in the 5000m barely beating the 4^th place finisher. One woman’s dreams came true the other was left devastated. The men’s 5000m showed a gutsy performance by Galen Rupp who broke the Olympic Trials 5000m record set in 1972 by Steve Prefontaine and out kicked Bernard Lagat.

(Helicopter!)

(Relaxing in Athlete Hospitality)

            We relaxed, took advantage of the amazing PT’s and massage therapists available, played games in the athlete hospitality and ate lots of good food. My running was pretty low after my race. The next day I went out for an easy 4 mile run and felt terrible. Wednesday I took the day off. Thursday I managed to run for an hour and Friday I attempted to do a light tempo run but cut it short as my body felt awful. Saturday after getting back to Seattle I headed out for a run. I made it 1 minute out and turned around and came home. This is very unlike me. Sunday I was able to run a medium long run and by Monday my brain and body were starting to come around again. 

           It was amazing to see how much the emotional strain of such a big event can make you feel completely depleted. After being in the dorms for a 7 nights it felt great to get back home. I still feel like I am catching up on rest from the big event but it was worth it. Even though I did not make my ultimate goal of getting into the steeple final I made it to the Trials. It took a lot of sacrifices, help from friends and family, and there were many ups and downs throughout the season but looking back I would not change it for the world. I am very thankful to have been given the opportunity because you do not know what the future may hold.

(Levi and I at the end of this journey)

            I cannot say what my plans are for the future. I will take it a day at a time. I plan to continue to compete and push my body to new levels but if God decides to take my life in another direction I will be ready to pursue that with all my heart.

            Right now if I were to tell you where I would be in 4 years it would be at the 2016 Olympic Trials, maybe with a kid or two, but each day is a gift and the future a mystery so seize every opportunity because you do not know what lies ahead.

***I want to thank Club Northwest, Ruth Hesse at Wallingford Massage Studio, Brooks ID, InHealth Chiropractic, Sports Reaction Center, Powerbar, my friends and family for their amazing support and for always believing, and God for the gifts I have been given.

Given a Chance (Part 2)

           

           After finding peace in my situation and being o.k. with either outcome I received an email that ended the waiting game. The woman who had been injured informed me that she would not be racing at the Trials. I knew how hard this decision must have been for her. While it was a very difficult decision for her, she felt that those that were healthy and ready to race should be allowed the opportunity to run. Wow. That was impressive. It was a bitter sweet situation to be in because obviously I was ecstatic to be able to race yet my heart went out to the injured runner. She worked very hard to get a spot in the Trials and now that dream for her had come to an end while allowing my dream of racing to come true.

            After hearing the news I called my parents and let them know that I should be in. It isn’t a guarantee until I see my name with the words “accepted” after it but I am in the top 24 and the woman’s track and field chair informed me they would be taking 24 to the Trials. My dad was thrilled and told me he never said a word about my thinking I was out. He told me he knew all along that I would get in. He just had that feeling.

            John was happy to hear the news and pretty much had the same feelings as my dad. They had the faith when mine waivered. I received this text from John, “Why do you run? Remember life is the content not the context. I run because I love to run. Now it would be a blast to run in the context of the Olympic Trials but the content is still simply running. So if I get bumped from the Trials the context is different but life’s content is still there and there’s real joy to be had in that.”

            I now have a renewed energy and feel very blessed yet ready to compete. My training has been going great and for the first time at a Championship meet I feel I am coming into it peaking at the right moment. I am not afraid of my competition or intimidated that this is the Olympic Trials. This is yet another chance for me to do my best and lay my heart out on the track. This is a reward for all the days and hours of practice I have put into getting to this meet. I ran my first 5k in the 4^th grade and every day and every year since has been shaping and preparing me for this race.

            I was looking at some of my old blogs and came across one that applies exactly to this situation. I wrote it February 2^nd, 2011 and it had nothing to do with not making it into a big meet or running a PR or anything. It was just my thoughts about running and it still holds true today and probably will forever.

            “Running is a lot like life. There will be hard times, ups and downs, but it’s up to you with how you deal with those challenges. You can give in when the going gets tough or believe in yourself and believe that there are no limitations to what you can do.

            Often times when I train for months at a time for a big race and then run the race, I find myself reflecting more on the training leading up to the race. Experiencing joy after a successful finish but feeling more proud of the months of preparation that brought me the results. To me, the reward lies in the journey itself. The beauty about running is you can reap these benefits at any point in your life. So it's never too late to start.”

            So when people ask me why I run? I could list hundreds upon hundreds of reasons why but it is a gift and I wouldn't be the person I am today without it. As Steve Prefontaine once said, "To give anything less than your best is to sacrifice the gift." And I intend to leave it all out there on the track Monday evening.

             

Out of My Control (Part 1)

(2011 USATF National Championships)

            Well it has been quite the roller coaster for me these past couple of weeks. After the Portland Track Festival I was in the top 24 for the Trials with one week of competition season left. I have never been so in tune with all the races going on around the country in my entire life. At this point things were out of my control so it may have been more stressful for me to follow every steeple result but it also gave me something to do, something to occupy my time.

            Meet after meet the results would come in and I would let out a sigh of relief as I remained in the top 24. Then the day before the absolute last day to qualify my heart sunk a little as I saw the entries for one last steeple race in Texas. A woman with an Olympic Trials A standard in the 10k and a very talented steepler had decided to race the steeple as it seemed the event that she would be the most competitive in. I kept checking online for the results and around 9pm I saw an online forum exclaiming she had gotten in.

            While I am happy for other people to succeed and reach their goals I would be lying if I told you I wasn’t crushed at the news. This put me 25^th in the Nation, one spot out of the Olympic Trials. I couldn’t really control my emotions and I definitely shed a few tears. This may sound silly to some but to have something you worked so hard to achieve not come to fruition within the closing hours is tough. I know I was not alone in my feelings. I would bet that 99% of people have “failed” at some goal of theirs in life. Dreams do not come easy but there is great reward in going for them. This is called living.

            At this point I was not 100% out of the Trials. It would all depend on the field size the USATF decided to take and whether or not any women scratched. I knew this but on Saturday night this was not even registering. All I saw was that Saturday morning I was guaranteed a spot in the Trials and by Saturday night I would have to play the agonizing hurry up and wait game. This happened to me in 2009 and I was not too thrilled about the prospect of doing this again.

            To give you a brief background in 2009 I was ranked 24^th in the women’s steeple. This would have been the first USATF Championship I competed in and the first National Championship period. I was ecstatic. After being told I was in I was informed they had decided to only take 18 women. Then I was crushed. I ended up going for a run to run through my frustrations, and yes I ran too hard. Later that night I found out I was going to be accepted in. Talk about a roller coaster. Levi and I quickly packed our truck and made the journey to Eugene. It wasn’t much notice but we made it. I definitely did not race my best that day, it also didn’t help that this was the year they left the women’s water barrier at the men's height, but I was happy to be there. 

(2009 USATF National Championships with Kara and Adam Goucher)

            So here I was in the same position, but on a much larger scale. I was only 1.66 seconds off the Automatic qualifying time and .77 of a second out of 24^th for the Olympic Trials. I did not sleep very well Saturday night and Sunday morning I was feeling tired but better. I went for an easy run to think about things. John (my coach) was bummed for me but told me to stay focused and train like I had made it because there was still a chance. I knew of a couple women who were battling injuries so there was a chance. I contacted one of them and was surprised with how honest and nice she was about the situation. She told me she would keep me informed and I was very grateful.

            By Monday, I had come to terms with the outcome either way. I was going to the Trials regardless of my competing or not. My husband Levi made it in the pole vault and my brother/coach John made it in the 3000m steeplechase. I couldn’t have been happier for them. I remember feeling so sad Saturday night but praying so hard for them to make it in. I knew how hard they had worked and did not want them to have to go through the same thing as me.

            Thinking of not making it into the Trials made me reflect on how far I have come and I was not disappointed at all. There was nothing more that I could do. After some praying and support from my friends and family I found peace in the situation. And right when that happened everything changed.

On the Bubble

(Starting line of the 3000m Women's Steeple)

           I have wanted to update my blog for awhile but haven’t really been able to compile my thoughts into a coherent document so bare with me while I ramble on. Since Oxy I focused on my training while biding my time to compete in my last steeple before the Trials. I would hear about good meets with good competition and would feel a draw to compete but rushing into races would not set me up for a PR performance so I sat back, biting my nails, following results, all the while training.

            For twelve days my husband Levi, was in California competing at four different pole vault competitions. During this time I had a lot of time to train, nap, read, and watch lots of movies…yes I was a little bored but I managed the time well. While at the Olympic Training Center Levi was able to jump a new PR. He cleared 5.52m (18’1.25”) which puts him tied for 19^th right now! I was ecstatic when I heard the news.

            I was finishing up an easy run with my brother Josh. As we were nearing the house we spotted John (my younger brother) on his way out for a run. As he passed by he told me to check my text from Levi. I looked at Josh and said that must be good news. When I got inside I was too nervous to check my phone. I asked Josh if he got a text from Levi knowing if he did it was going to be great news. Josh said yes and as I picked up my phone I heard him yell, 5.52! He got 5.52! I was so proud of Levi thinking he had just punched his ticket to Eugene for the trials. He can still go higher and I can’t wait for his next breakthrough meet where he jumps to his full potential. So long as he stays in the top 24 and so long as the USATF chooses to take 24 vaulters to the Trials I think he can do it in Eugene.

(Levi Keller vaulting at the Olympic Training Center)

(Up and over!)

            When he came back to Seattle I had one week to continue preparing for the Portland Track Festival where I planned to race my last steeple of the season. The week leading up to the meet I had some good workouts but I spent extra time working on the mental side of my game. I studied and diligently took notes from the Sports Psychology text book I am reading and with each day felt more and more prepared to race well.

            Levi and I drove down to Portland Friday through several downpours. When we got to the track I did my pre-meet shakeout run and right when I finished it started pouring again. Lucky day! We ordered some pizza and went back to our hotel and ate it while watching a movie. The next day I woke up, ate breakfast and headed out for my shakeout run. I honestly did not feel good on my shakeout but told myself I would feel better once the day wore on.

            At 1pm we had to check out of our room. My race had been moved from 5:35pm to 7:10pm so I had quite a lot of time to kill. Apparently someone requested that the time of the steeple be moved to a “cooler” time of the evening. They must not have been from the Pacific Northwest because it was cool all day! We headed to Safeway to get some food for lunch, then to Wells Fargo for some banking and then headed to the track. We had brought our futon mattress and laid it down in the back of our pickup truck and were able to rest in the parking lot while we waited. It was actually quite peaceful in my little truck bed. I continued reading my sports psychology book and prepared for my race.

(Our home away from home while we wait the start of the meet)

            When it finally came time to warm up I was ready. Waiting that long can be hard! When I finished my warm up I was told the meet was 12 minutes behind schedule. I didn’t let this bother me. The time came and they lined us up on the starting line. Runners to your mark…oh wait, go ahead do a stride we aren’t ready yet. 15 minutes later we were back on the line. It turns out they were having trouble getting one of the barriers down on the track. The wheels wouldn’t lock in place which wouldn’t be good if someone were to step on the barrier. I could tell some of the women did not like this delay. I felt ready to go even if I had to wait longer. I felt happy, relaxed, yet very focused and sure of my plan. When I feel this way I have good races. I have discovered the perfect amount of nerves that help and don’t hinder my performance.

            When the gun went off I went right into my race plan. The first kilometer do not lead, stay back 2^nd-4^th position. I was in 6^th. I had trouble over a few of the hurdles since I was pushed toward the outside and couldn’t see them well but I was relaxed and conserving energy. The second kilometer, stay on 79’s. Each time I went by my coach I heard him yell 79. Then with 2 laps to go, start my kick and I did. I took the lead and pushed the pace. We had to go if we wanted that 9:55 mark. One girl went right with me. The bell lap I was going all out. Coming into the last water jump I was neck and neck with a girl. She had the inside and had a better water jump than me and came out slightly ahead. But by the last hurdle with just under 100m to go I had caught her. We both were sprinting all out but I wasn’t able to match her and she got me.

(Fast new shoes from Brooks!)

            I ran a PR and a great race. I gave it my all and did the best that I could on the day. It was bitter sweet being so close to the A standard and knowing I could achieve it yet I was just off the mark and now I am left waiting race results across the country to see if I make it in. I am confident if I do make it in that my training is setting me up for a PR at the Trials. For the first time in a long time I am getting to the end of my season feeling sharp and fast. Not fatigued or over raced. I didn’t over race and chase the mark week in and week out which sets me up well for the end of the season but it is risky because I now run the risk of not making it into the Trials.

(When vaulting goes awry)

            It’s funny how things can change so quickly. Before Portland I figured if I could run even one second faster that would get me in the top 24 and thus into the Olympic Trials. I ran 3 seconds faster at Portland, one second off the A standard and am sitting in 24^th right now with several other women doing last chance meets this week with hopes of improving their marks. After Levi jumped 5.52m in Chula Vista, CA I was sure he would be in but a few men have squeaked out 5.53m jumps and he has informed me that the USATF might not take a full field. I am hoping this is not the case. 19^th-23^rd place has jumped 5.52m. If a few guys jump higher, displacing the 5.52m men outside of the top 24 there is a chance the USATF will take a smaller field to the trials. But there is a chance they will take a larger field as well. In 2008 they took 27 men in the vault. But who knows what they are thinking. In my race, I know exactly how many women they will take (assuming less than 24 women get the A standard). If I am 25^th even by .000001 of a second it won’t matter. They will take 24.

            So to sum it up, I am on the bubble, Levi is on the bubble, and my brother John is sitting 23^rd yes, on the bubble. I have visions of all of us making it and that would probably be an Olympic Trials first. Brother, sister, husband, wife all competing for a spot on the United States Olympic Team.

            I have had my sights set on the Trials for a long time. But I am at peace with my season. I have run numerous PR’s and there is nothing more that I can do and I am o.k. with that. I have no control over the other athletes and what they run but I can rest easy knowing I gave it my all and God willing that will be good enough to get me to Eugene and on the starting line. 

My PR Performance at The Portland Track Festival: