The Mother in Me

(Lilyana and me. Photo By Pete Saloutos)

              Well it has been just over 2 months since Lilyana came into my world. Things have been getting “easier” in the sense that I am now getting used to my new role as a mother. Whether it ever really gets easier is probably up for debate. The biggest change for me has been her sleeping through the night. She will sleep a solid 7 hours from around midnight until 7 or 8 a.m. and I thought getting 4 hours of sleep in a row was amazing! I am now back to being an almost functioning human being.

(2 months old!)

                As far as my training goes I am taking things slow. I still am not feeling the “hunger” to start logging the miles but I get out and run almost every other day and lift at least 2 days per week. Being married to a personal trainer is great because he writes up lifting routines I can do at home so I know I will be able to get it in if I can’t get to the gym. I also am cross training by doing the elliptical or spin bike.

(Adding almost 13 pounds to my strength routine)

The farthest I have run recently is 5 miles. After two nights of Lilyana sleeping 7 hours straight I woke up to feed and change her and when we were done, had an hour before Levi had to be at work so I decided to go for a run. One thing I learned is the importance of fueling when you are breastfeeding. I ate half a PowerBar and drank some water before heading out the door, which prior to pregnancy I would be fine doing this first thing in the morning. My legs felt very heavy at the end of the run, the way they would feel at the end of a very long run when your body is running out of glycogen. This happened on my 5 miler. It also was the earliest I have worked out yet so that may have had something to do with it as well. Breastfeeding takes energy so I need to make sure to stay well hydrated and fueled when I work out.

(In the BOB stroller)

I have been getting better at running with my BOB stroller. It is wonderful to have and works great on runs. I just lock the front wheel (so it doesn’t swivel) and I’m off. In the cooler months I am now putting on the weather shield to keep Lilyana warm. It hasn’t rained on me yet but the weather shield protects against rain and wind so it is great. Running with the stroller did take some getting used to. I try to make sure to keep good form, stand nice and tall, and keep my shoulders relaxed. I noticed a tendency to shrug my shoulders and tense up so am doing better with keeping my upper body relaxed. It is hard for me to over stride with the stroller so that is a plus. I also make sure not to collapse my core when I am running and stay nice and tall. Yes I have pushed the stroller out in front, letting it glide a few steps before I catch it again, but I assure you I am not letting her get out of my control or go careening into the lake, lol.

Running with a stroller is a great way to get you back in shape as it is definitely harder than running without especially on hills! The infant car seat I have is not compatible with my BOB stroller but that has not been a problem. The manufacturer recommends using an infant car seat in the BOB until the baby is 6 months old with good head control. Lilyana already has great head control and I can drop the seat back so she is in a position just like her car seat. I also have another car seat for when she gets older (a convertible seat from infant to 70+ pounds). I took out the padding used for the infant setting and put the insert in the BOB so it really is just like her being in a car seat. However, I only run with her on smooth pavement as I do not feel comfortable with her bouncing along over gravel since I am going against “manufactured recommendations.” This is definitely the first time mom genes coming out. I usually walk to Greenlake then run with her on the paved path. It works out nicely because then I have a warm up and cool down of walking after my run.

(Already putting her to work sorting laundry)

(Keys please.)

 When Lilyana gets in the stroller and we start running she usually just falls right asleep. The only downside to this is when we get home I sometimes want a nap but she is well rested and ready to interact with me and she has a face I can’t say no to. I love “playing” with her and watching her learn new things every day. Something as small as her discovering her own thumb or smiling at me makes me cheer in delight.

I just feel so blessed to have her in my life. I know this has been said before but I now know it to be true, it seems the things I once held as “important” in my life before having Lilyana, now seem so frivolous and unimportant. That is not to say I regret or am taking away from any of my accomplishments from my past, it’s just that I am opening a new chapter in my life and I couldn’t be more excited about what is in store.  I do plan to continue competing if I am able and I still have goals outside of being a mother but if for some reason that part of my life is over I am completely fine with it. I have no regrets and feel very at ease with the changes in my life. Perhaps this new perspective will help me in my competitions and make me stronger than ever. I was never defined by being just a runner, athlete, worker, etc. so it does not feel like I am losing any part of me. In fact it feels the opposite. I have discovered this other amazing side of me that I never knew existed. It didn’t take any work or soul searching on my part and I can name the day I felt the change. It happened on August 21^st, 2013 at 2:31a.m.

Baby Steps

                 It has been almost 4 weeks since the birth of my baby girl and I am finally feeling ready to start back with running. However, usually when I am mentally feeling ready it is still a week before my body is physically ready so I am going to ease into my exercise routine conservatively. I was cleared to do “cardio” after 2 weeks and in my mind cardio means running. So two weeks to the day from the birth of Lilyana, I decided to go for a jog on my treadmill to feel things out. I started at roughly an 8-8:30 minute mile and ran for 200 meters. I quickly had to slow down the pace and started walking. I decided to try a walk jog but things didn’t feel quite right so I upped the incline and slowed the pace and went for a brisk walk.

                Running didn’t hurt, but it just didn’t feel quite right. Things felt loose in my core and I didn’t like it so I decided to err on the side of caution and not run. Over the next two weeks I did cardio on the elliptical machine and spin bike machine. I also incorporated some very light lifting that didn’t involve my “core” (i.e. squats, etc.) but used more of my upper body. The first day of cardio on the elliptical I went for twenty minutes and was tasting blood. By that I mean I am out of shape, I had that metallic taste in my mouth and which I have never gotten from an elliptical workout before so I definitely have some work to do.

(Doing my "cardio")

                Each cardio session did get better but I am still only doing a max of 25 minutes a few days a week and walking on the other days. After 3 weeks I emailed my midwives to see if they meant that I could do impact activities like running when they cleared me for cardio. Apparently they meant for me to just do some easy walking…around the block. I have walked five miles at a time, definitely farther than a few blocks. I guess there’s a big difference when you tell a distance runner they are cleared for “cardio.” In the past I never considered easy walking a form of cardio but this is a whole new experience for me so now walking is cardio. The midwives want me to err on the side of caution until they can check how well my abdominal muscles are healing at six weeks. They want to make sure I do not have a condition called diastasis recti or diastasis recti abdominis which basically means the abdominals have separated. During pregnancy this usually occurs during the second or third trimesters and it is seen as a bulge in the middle of the abdominal muscles. I never saw this and upon feeling my stomach they do not feel more than 1-2 finger widths apart which seems o.k. Three or more finger widths could indicate that I have the condition.

                A fellow runner friend and mother of two came to visit Lilyana and me and she cautioned me about the importance of coming back slowly to running. She told me if I come back too soon I am also at an increased risk of having a prolapsed bladder. I am letting my body be my guide. Every woman’s labor and pregnancy is different so I need to be careful not to compare myself to other runners or women who may have been able to start back with more vigorous activity earlier on. The first two weeks I honestly don’t know how anyone could be starting an exercise routine. I was so tired and my body so beat there was no way I was going to even attempt to run, let alone go to the gym for any cardio. I think that was my body’s natural way of letting me know I needed to heal.

(Resting)

                I did do a very slow one mile jog outside today and it felt way better than the first day I tried. It definitely felt awkward but that loose feeling in my core was gone. I will build slowly from this and continue to do other forms of non impact cardio and some weight training. It has taken a few weeks but I am starting to feel like I am getting into a better routine and getting more accustomed to my new role as a mother. As Lilyana starts to get into a better schedule and begins sleeping longer at night that will make things a little easier as well. When this starts happening it may coincide nicely with the increase in my exercise routine, how convenient.

                Lilyana is learning new things every day. The changes are small but over time they are helping to mold her into a self sufficient person. Something as small as learning to smile for the first time or scooting herself across the floor, she is building upon each little milestone. So for now I will follow in her baby steps and in no time I will look back and be amazed at how far we both have come.

(Baby Steps)

Lilyana Joy Keller

         

(Holding Mom's hand)

          Here is a quick update. On August 21^st, 2013 at 2:31a.m., we welcomed our precious baby girl into this world. A healthy Lilyana Joy Keller came into this world with a loud cry and big appetite. She weighed 7 pounds 13.8 ounces and was roughly 20 inches long. Being a mother has been a surreal experience. I find myself just staring at her in awe that she is mine. I am slowly adjusting to the new schedule and trying to sleep when the baby sleeps. This can be difficult at times since my body is not used to this yet.

(Newborn Lilyana)

(Peaceful baby)

  















         

          After we were discharged from the hospital my midwife told me no cardio. She said I am allowed to walk but blocks not miles. I guess they know me too well! But in all honesty there is no way I would feel up for a run at this point. I think the body is pretty smart when it comes to having a baby and knowing when you need to rest. After two weeks I am allowed to start light cardio. They do not want me doing any weight lifting or abdominal work until they see me at my 6 week appointment so they can assess how well my abdominal muscles are healing.
          Lilyana had her first Doctor’s appointment on Monday at 5 days old. Newborns will lose up to 10% of their body weight after birth and should gain it back by 10-14 days. Lilyana had already passed her birth weight at her appointment and the Doctor had to verify with the nurse that was her correct weight at birth. He was surprised but it is a good thing. I guess the nurses at the hospital were right when they said she was a breast feeding professional!

(Mom and baby)

          Levi is a natural father and it melts my heart seeing him care for his little girl. He is a big help around the house and tells me my job is to rest and feed the baby and he will take care of everything else. We have been very blessed by the support of friends and family as well who have been coming by with dinners for us to eat. I feel spoiled!

(Loving Father)

          It has been 8 days since she was born and I amazed at how fast she is growing already. She is still a tiny infant but looking at her I can see the changes. I have always heard that kids grow up fast and it looks like she will be no different in my eyes. I am excited to see what the future has in store for our new little family!

External Cephalic Version

(9 months)

Today is my due date but I read somewhere that only about 5% of women actually give birth on their due date. So to help pass the time, while I have it, here is my update. I left off with my baby being in a breech position. I tried some “home remedies” like inversions, swimming, handstands, etc. I have heard acupuncture can help flip a breech baby but for the cost I decided I would wait and if she didn’t flip on her own, I would have an external cephalic version.

                Time passed by and she didn’t flip. At 37 weeks I went in for my ECV appointment. The first thing the nurses did was put two monitors on my belly, one to monitor the baby’s heart rate and another to monitor contractions. They also checked my heart rate. The monitors had to be on my for at least 15 minutes so they could see that the baby was doing fine. The nurse asked me if I had any contractions and I told her no, just little Braxton Hick’s here and there. Then she told me I was currently contracting. Weird! I didn’t feel anything but there it was on the monitor. She told me this was (most likely) due to the fact that I hadn’t been allowed to eat or drink since midnight and being dehydrated can cause contractions. Guess it goes to show just how important staying hydrated during pregnancy is!

                The nurse then put a needle thing in my arm in case I would need an IV in the event of an emergency c-section. The first try didn’t work so the nurse called in an anesthesiologist and she got the IV in no problem. My arm was sore and bruised for over a week from the first attempt. It still slightly hurts to the touch! Then I got a shot of tocolytic (I think) that helps relax smooth muscles, i.e. the uterus. My “contractions” stopped. The Doctor did an ultrasound to confirm the baby was still breech and that I had plenty of amniotic fluid. Everything looked great on the monitors and the Doctor, with the help of a midwife, was ready to start the procedure.

                He told me to try to relax my stomach area as much as possible. So I closed my eyes, focused on my breathing and relaxed. Levi stayed at the bottom of the bed to rub my feet. Every two minutes the nurse would check the baby’s heart rate to make sure it didn’t drop. It never did. To start the Doctor picked up on the baby’s feet and moved her out of my pelvis. The midwife then held the baby in place. He then slowly began to turn the baby. I could feel his muscles tensed but it was not painful for me. Levi told me the Doctor was working hard but he wasn’t pushing hard on me. He just had to be very steady while moving the baby. I guess he closed his eyes too to get a better feel. He stopped two or three times for the heart rate monitoring and then he did an ultrasound and said it worked.

                That was awesome. The whole “flipping” procedure took about 5 minutes. This Doctor was highly recommended and I can see why. We called him the “baby whisperer.” He was very skilled at his work and made sure the baby’s health was the number one priority. He told me beforehand that he wasn’t there to “win.” If the baby didn’t want to move one way he would try another and if she still didn’t want to move then that would be it. It was very reassuring. He and the nurses all complimented me on how relaxed I looked and stayed. The procedure was a bit uncomfortable but nothing unbearable, so I am going to say that all of my races over the years have helped teach me how to be relaxed in uncomfortable situations. Let’s hope labor can be that way too! 

                I received a shot of Rhogam since my blood is RH negative as a precaution in case any of my blood and the baby’s mixed. You don’t want your body to create antibodies against a different type of blood, for instance if our baby’s blood is RH positive then my body would create antibodies against this and conceiving in the future would be difficult.

                I was then placed on the monitors for an hour. I ordered in some food and watched TV to pass the time. The baby’s heart rate was steady the whole time and never dropped. She did great. When it was time to go I definitely noticed a change when I stood up. There was a lot more pressure in my pelvis from her head! The nurse gave me this girdle looking thing to wear 24/7 to supposedly help the baby stay in her new position. I did a great job of wearing it for 3-4 days then I caved. It was itchy, hot, and uncomfortable. I asked my midwife and they said I didn’t need to wear it anymore. It was more important to wear the first couple of days. Whew!

                The whole procedure was pretty neat. It is amazing to me that the Doctor was able to move a baby from the outside! She is still cooperating in her head down position as well but who knows when she will decide to make her grand entrance into this world!