Journalings from June 2022

June 1, 2022

Today was a typical day. It was full of tasks, transporting kids from place to place, and work at the new house. A pretty typical day. At the end of the day the girls wanted to walk along a farm road near us to look for a whirlpool. When the fields are flood irrigated some of the pipes that drain them into the canal make a swirling whirlpool, which the kids think is pretty amazing.

I was tired and ready to be done for the day and just relax but decided it would be good for us to go out for a short walk. We got to the spot and unfortunately for the kids, the water was already drained too much to make the whirlpool. So we decided to continue on towards a foot bridge over a creek. From there we ventured to the old school house, then decided why not go walk the nature trail along the creek? And once we journeyed on that a ways, realized we were pretty close to the Olmstead Barn so figured we might as well go there too.

The more we walked in nature the more at peace everyone felt. The kids were not fighting or arguing. They were happy. I was happy. My independent Lily, even held my hand for some of the walk home. The evening was beautiful. It was sunny, 70 degrees, no wind, with some clouds coming in the distance. I looked up at the sky in awe at God’s creation, feeling this happy ache at all I saw.

When I am in nature and really letting go of all distractions and taking in the beauty around me, I feel this natural, uncontrollable response inside. It’s almost like a reflex of my soul, a reflex that tells me, I am not alone. When I am being intentional with my thoughts and inner prayers during times like this, when I am really focusing on the moment, I feel a peace come over me. A peace that tells me no matter the craziness going on around me in the world, it will be ok. There is a God who loves me, sees me, and has not forgotten me. I feel this desire inside to remain in this state forever, which I believe is a longing we humans have to have things corrected to how they once were. To be reunited with God and paradise in the Garden. We live in a broken world but that was not God’s original design for us and in time He will restore our world to this.

If we can keep our mind heavenly focused, no matter what is is happening in the world around us, the light of God’s presence will give you peace and joy that cannot be taken from you, no matter what evil befalls this world.

“For I, the Lord your God, hold your right hand; it is I who say to you, “Fear not, I am the one who helps you.” (Isaiah 41:13)

“For with you is the fountain of life; in your light do we see light.” (Psalm 36:9)

 

June 12, 2022

When my kids wake up grumpy the phrase, “She woke up on the wrong side of the bed,” comes to mind. I’m sure we can all relate to those mornings for ourselves as well, where you just wake up and things immediately seem to start off on the wrong foot.

But no matter how you start your day we have the choice of how we will end it and we have the choice on how we will respond to the situations we find ourselves in.

When you “wake on the wrong side of the bed” it is so important to be aware of God’s presence as He really is our resource and he gives us the strength to change the course of our day. He gives us free will to choose how we will spend our day and what we will focus on, but He is there for us to choose as well.

We can choose to focus on the negative, to complain about our circumstances and not focus on Him in these moments. I’ve had days like this, and I’ll tell you, they aren’t enjoyable for anyone. A negative attitude can be toxic and spread to those you encounter.

But you can break the cycle. It takes effort and intentionality but by choosing to focus on God and giving your problems and your heart to God He can give you the strength to break the cycle.

“For you are my lamp, O Lord, and my God lightens my darkness. For by you I can run against a troop, and by my God I can leap over a wall.” (2 Samuel 22:29-30)

Your problems won’t disappear but how you see them will. And by choosing to focus on the light instead of the darkness allows you to be open enough to witness God’s hand in transforming some of those trials to blessings.

“But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.” (2 Corinthians 12:9)

Remember as you go about your day that you have the power to direct how it will go. Will your day be positive or negative? Will you be a victim of your difficulties or an overcomer, rising above your circumstances?

On these difficult days it is not recommended to navigate them alone. We have a loving Father that wants to walk with us in our journey and we cannot do it alone. No matter what you chose, whether it is to be cynical and negative or prayerful and thankful, the day will eventually end. But how we arrive at the end is up to us.

Our human minds and bodies have limits with what we can endure alone. But God’s strength is endless and He can sustain us.

“For you are my lamp, O Lord, and my God lightens my darkness. For by you I can run against a troop, and by my God I can leap over a wall.” (2 Samuel 22:29-30)

 

June 15, 2022

In a world that is noisy, busy and stressful, it is important to silence it so you can focus on the things that are unseen.

Our senses are constantly bombarded with things of this world. We need to shut our senses off so we can be in tune with what is invisible, God in spirit.

Can we see God in this world? Absolutely. He created it, His hand is in everything. Shutting everything out really allows you to be in direct communion with God, to be in direct communion with Him.

As the Jesus Calling devotional stated so well, “The goal is to be aware of unseen things even as you live out your life in the visible world.”

It is good for your soul to take the time to really rest in God’s presence and His presence alone.

“As we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal.” (2 Corinthians 4:18)

 

June 17, 2022

Life has been feeling pretty serious these past few years. Illness, inflation, wars and rumors of war, murder of the innocent, sky high inflation, out of control gas prices, supply chain issues, rumors of food shortages, and the list goes on and on.

On top of this, my family and I are in the process of building a house and I’ll say the process has been anything but smooth. Today was one of those days where the stress of the build was the cliche “straw that broke the camel’s back” on top of everything else.

I woke up feeling anxious, stressed and angry. It was all just too much to juggle. It seemed nothing was going right or ever would. I noticed myself being short with Levi and having less patience with my kids. I was letting myself be controlled by my circumstances and these future circumstances, stressing over things that haven’t even happened yet.

And then I read the Jesus Calling devotional for the day and the point about laughing struck a chord with me. Even in the midst of tragedy or tough situations we are allowed to laugh and be light hearted. In fact it can help alleviate some of the stress by doing so.

“A joyful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.” (Proverbs 17:22)

If circumstances are out of your hands, why give them more power by feeding negative emotions into them? Give these things to God and simply accept that some things are in the realm of things we can do something about while others simply are not.

Having these boundaries are not a bad thing. Children constantly test boundaries so they can learn where they are. It actually makes them feel loved and cared for. By testing boundaries and being met with resistance let’s them know someone is watching out for them, guiding and protecting them along the way. It’s the same with God. He is there to guide and protect us and help us navigate the boundaries He has placed around us. He wants to hear you laugh and to “be of good cheer” even when difficulties arise. Because sometimes an uplifted spirit is essential to carry you through difficulties.

Levi and I have been married almost 14 years. It’s apparently at the stage where I have to count from our wedding year until the current year to remember how long it’s been, haha! We’ve been together as a couple for 17 years total. And the one constant that really keeps us close is laughter. It’s so simple, but I’ve noticed over the years when we stop joking and laughing with each other, it’s usually when we are having a tougher stretch in our marriage and need shared laughter more than ever to get us back on track.

It’s a viscous cycle though, because when you’re stressed, angry, resentful, etc., it makes you look at everything more negatively and critically, and unable to relax and laugh with the one you see as causing you to feel this way. But you need that laughter to bring your relationship back in to balance. Now maybe for you it’s not laughter and silly jokes that no one else would find funny like it is for Levi and me. But most couples have something that keeps them feeling connected with each other, something that drew them to each other initially.

The other day I teased Levi about something and he exaggerated my tease by making a face. I laughed so hard I was crying. We were sitting at the table eating at the time, and I couldn’t control my laughter. Alita was so confused, asking me why I was crying and laughing. I couldn’t even explain it to her. Days later, all Levi had to do was make the face (the one that got me laughing in hysterics originally) and I was dying. If anyone else witnessed this they would think we were crazy. But in our relationship, laughter is one of the pillars keeping our relationship humming along. Levi’s humor is a big part of what drew me to him in the first place and if we lose that, we lose a part of “us.” It’s been a core part of our relationship since the beginning.

Now circling back to how this applies to life and the point of this post. We don’t need to take everything so seriously just because it’s serious. There is joy to be found even in the difficulties. If you let the weight of the world weigh you down you will miss out on the joy to be found in God’s presence. It’s God’s job to carry the weight of the world and solve its problems, not yours.

“Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” (Matthew 11:28-30)

 

June 20, 2022

If you look for God you will find Him, in a gentle breeze, a beautiful sunset, a rushing river, a child’s smile, a loving voice.

Practice looking for God each day.

“You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart.” (Jeremiah 29:13)

The more you seek Him, the more you will find Him, and the easier it will become to see His hand at work in everything. Seeing the world through this lens can make all the difference in whether you have hope or despair in this world.

“I wait for the Lord, my whole being waits, and in his word I put my hope.” (Psalm 130:5)

“We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed.” (1 Peter 5:7)

“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.” (Philippians 4:6-7)

 

June 22, 2022

So often things in life do not go as we planned. You may feel like there are times when nothing is going right, that no matter what you do, troubles are around every corner.

Which often leads people to questions of why. Why God? Why are YOU doing this to ME? It is natural to want to blame someone or something for our problems. But turning from God and blaming Him is not a path you want to go down. Once you start down this road it is easy to spiral into a never ending pit of self pity and anger. Even anger towards the One who can help you rise above your circumstances, the One who can make your burdens not feel so heavy.

“Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” (Matthew 11:28-30)

So how do you stop yourself from going down this negative road? Or how do you get yourself off it? By giving thanks. You can’t be thanking someone and cursing them at the same time. This won’t come naturally, especially at first. Why would I want to thank God for losing my job? For losing a loved one? For illness? For financial hardship?

You’re not thanking Him for the bad things, but finding ways to be thankful during these times simply because He is good. We live in a broken world and brokenness is a guarantee.

When bad things happen, you may feel you have a right to be angry, especially if you’ve done everything “right” and don’t “deserve” what’s happening to you.

But the truth is, none of us deserve God’s goodness. We are all sinners and broken. If we got what we truly deserved we would be in hell. It is only through the grace of God and Christ’s blood He shed for us that we are redeemed.

When you focus on being thankful no matter what, your heart will slowly be changed. It’s not something that you can check off a list like, “I have a thankful heart I can move on to the next thing to work on.” It will be something you have to focus on day in and day out, when hardships arise.

“I will offer to you the sacrifice of thanksgiving and call on the name of the Lord.” (Psalm 116:17)

It’s easy to be thankful when things are going well, which is a good time to practice the habit of thankfulness to God. That way when the difficulties arise, and they will, you will have the heart practice in place to know where to turn and keep yourself Kingdom focused and not on earthly problems.

“Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice. Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.” (Philippians 4:4-8)

 

June 26, 2022

I don’t know what trials you may be facing today, but my encouragement to you is to keep your eyes focused heavenward in the midst of your difficulties.

No matter what you are going through it is not too big for God. He is not overwhelmed or taken by surprise by our earthly problems. I know some of the problems we face here on earth can be life altering and even ending. This isn’t making light of these difficulties but keeping them in perspective, that even the biggest difficulty we may ever have to face, is not too big for God.

God sees you, right here, right now, whatever you are going through. The good, the bad, and the ugly, He is there through all of it. You don’t have to feel alone. You don’t have to wait for your “messes” to be less “messy” to go before Him. In Him, there is no shame, only redemption. If you seek Him, He is there to guide you and comfort you during any trials.

In Him, there is peace that surpasses all understanding (Phil 4:6). Feeling peace during immense suffering will not make sense to non believers. It will definitely surpass all their understanding! Though it may be hard to explain how you can feel peace during difficulties, when all worldly signs say that you should be feeling anxious, stressed, and overwhelmed, in Him you can find rest, in Him there is true peace, in Him there is even joy in the sorrows.

“So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison.” (2 Corinthians 4:16-17)